If women controlled the world...

[BattleNymph]

Yes, things would be a changin'....

[carmachu]

If women controlled the world, it be 3 weeks of peace followed by 1 week wars as tanks rolled across borders, followed by flowers and friutbaskets when the 3 weeks rolled back around again....

[COTSBOE]

If women controlled the world, suicide might well be an option.

[BattleNymph]

If women controlled the world, suicide might well be an option.

No, cause we'd kill you first. :D

[Haze]

Yes, things would be a changin'....ROFL. Those are very funny. :bowdown: .

[carmachu]

No, cause we'd kill you first. :D

Naaaa, someone needs to be around to kill spiders....

[Zayda]

Naaaa, someone needs to be around to kill spiders....


Pah....who's afraid of a spider as long as I have a shoe.

[carmachu]

Pah....who's afraid of a spider as long as I have a shoe.

My wife. More than a few women....

[Haze]

Naaaa, someone needs to be around to kill spiders....I like spiders.

[COTSBOE]

I like spiders.

You are a rarity, Haze.

[BattleNymph]

Naaaa, someone needs to be around to kill spiders....

Heh. Not one but BOTH of my ex husbands are absolutely terrified of spiders. I did all the spider killing in my family.


Now keeping us warm, that's a good reason to keep a man around. :D

[Zayda]

Heh. Not one but BOTH of my ex husbands are absolutely terrified of spiders. I did all the spider killing in my family.


Now keeping us warm, that's a good reason to keep a man around. :D

Not all women need a man to keep them warm, though. So, maybe that's not such a good reason to keep them around for some women.

[COTSBOE]

Now keeping us warm, that's a good reason to keep a man around. :D


You need us to open jars, too.

[Haze]

You are a rarity, Haze.I accompanied my girls on a school trip last year and one of the activities was 'meet the animals'. They had a ferret, a cute bunny, a scorpion and a tarantula.

Loads of volunteers to pet the ferret and bunny. Not a sole, including several men, would go near the other two. I looked at my girls with their faces reflecting the fear of the masses and went and held both.

The scopion was a little oogy with its tail and it felt very strange on bare skin and all but the red kneed tarantula* was very cute and tickly.

But it was worth it so my girls could see there was nothing to be afraid of.


*Not the first time I've handled a tarantula.

[Haze]

You need us to open jars, too.Nope elastic bands usually do the trick but there are devices (http://www.mobilitystore.co.uk/catalogue/product_info.php?cPath=22_58&products_id=235&osCsid=2ad7e0151fdc22bd9e8a8e4961953df0)available for those who really can't manage themselves.

[BattleNymph]

You need us to open jars, too.

Naw. Got a handy gizmo for that.

Now getting stuff off the high shelves... men are useful that way.

[Zayda]

Naw. Got a handy gizmo for that.

Now getting stuff off the high shelves... men are useful that way.

No...no...that's what step stools are for. :grin:

[BattleNymph]

No...no...that's what step stools are for. :grin:

Hmmm... well, then what ARE men useful for?

[COTSBOE]

Now I feel obsolete. :(

[Zayda]

Hmmm... well, then what ARE men useful for?

Their sheer entertainment value? :huh2:

[silverwhisper]

nobody's mentioned parallel parking? :D

[BattleNymph]

Their sheer entertainment value? :huh2:

Now THAT is a true thing. I find you all VASTLY entertaining.

*calls the air strike off*

[COTSBOE]

nobody's mentioned parallel parking? :D

If women ruled the world, it simply wouldn't exist.

[Zayda]

nobody's mentioned parallel parking? :D

What makes you think we need men for parallel parking?

[silverwhisper]

traditionally, 3 dimensional spatial relations are not a long suit for most women, super z, and parallel parking certainly fits that bill. :p

[BattleNymph]

traditionally, 3 dimensional spatial relations are not a long suit for most women, super z, and parallel parking certainly fits that bill. :p

Bah. I'm from the Bay Area. I cut my teeth parallel parking in San Francisco.

If you don't know what that means, go there and see.

[Zayda]

traditionally, 3 dimensional spatial relations are not a long suit for most women, super z, and parallel parking certainly fits that bill. :p

Hmmm...from what I've seen, most of the women here don't fall under that "most women" generalization. I'll have you know I'm a parallel parking pro and great at 3 dimensional spatial relations. :p.

[silverwhisper]

BN: you learned how to parallel park in SF? where'd you find an empty parking space?!

super z: ah, but the thread isn't about "if most women here controlled the world", is it? :troutslap:

[Haze]

traditionally, 3 dimensional spatial relations are not a long suit for most women, super z, and parallel parking certainly fits that bill. :pI learnt to drive in the East End and can not only parallel park without batting an eyelid but know precisely how wide my vehicle is.

[Zayda]

Heh. I figured since BN started the thread she could be the supreme female controller of the world.

Besides, we still don't need men for parallel parking, for killing spiders, or opening jars.

Nor for taking out the garbage. :D

[silverwhisper]

[considers a comment]

[thinks better of it]

[chitters, splashes about and swims off, stage left]

:troutslap:

[BattleNymph]

Heh. I figured since BN started the thread she could be the supreme female controller of the world.

Besides, we still don't need men for parallel parking, for killing spiders, or opening jars.

Nor for taking out the garbage. :D

Yup, supreme controller. You're all only allowed to continue for our entertainment. *cracks whip at the men*


So, entertain me!

[silverwhisper]

no.[/sadist]

:D

:p

[Wook]

Any spider large enough to not fit under the bottom of my shoe* gets me thinking about birdshot and whether or not the police will understand when I have to explain to them why I discharged a firearm inside city limits.

*Indoors that is. Spiders that are outside in their natural habitat trouble me not as long as they trouble me not. :sawink2:

[Zayda]

[pokes Silver visciously in the ribs with a spork]

:grin:
:grin:

[BattleNymph]

no.[/sadist]

:D

:p

Then what use are you? *bushes button and bright red light hits ed and disintegrates him*


Next.

[silverwhisper]

super z: otters are notoriously non-ticklish, i'll have you know. :p

BN: you'll never know. :D

[COTSBOE]

Lucky for us, women don't rule the world.

[BattleNymph]

Lucky for us, women don't rule the world.

Well, we like to let you think that's the case.

Most beasts don't do well in captivity unless the bars are hidden. :D

[carmachu]

Most beasts don't do well in captivity unless the bars are hidden.


So thats what people are calling breasts these days...got it...

[silverwhisper]

must...give..carm...more rep!

[carmachu]

Move along baby hippo...your 15 minutes were up remember? You've been replaced....

[BattleNymph]

So thats what people are calling breasts these days...got it...

*turns to aide and whispers* Alright, who let that slip? We can't let that info out, they may rebell.

*pushes button and Carm disintegrates into a billion red sparkles* Sorry, can't let that news out.


Next?

[BattleNymph]

I am confident that I would fare at least as well in this hypothetical feminocracy as I do now... my essential Chimaeraness is modally true and it's value is self-evident.

Hmmm... alright prove it. *cracks whip*

[carmachu]

*turns to aide and whispers* Alright, who let that slip? We can't let that info out, they may rebell.

*pushes button and Carm disintegrates into a billion red sparkles* Sorry, can't let that news out.


Next?



Ooooo pretty lights......

Your secret women organization shipped out a copy of the women's handbook a bit too early for sarah....see, page 275.....breasts, prison bars.....

[Whimsical]

If women controlled the world...

...education would get all the money it wants and the military would have to hold a bake sale to buy a tank.

[BattleNymph]

If women controlled the world...

...education would get all the money it wants and the military would have to hold a bake sale to buy a tank.

Actually no. Have you ever witnessed a cat fight? Women can be just as violent and cruel as men can be. It just takes us longer to get that angry. Once we do, nuke em from orbit!

[David Argall]

Naaaa, someone needs to be around to kill spiders....

Spiders should be left alone. They eat bugs you don't want in the house.

Not that 20+ years of pointing that out has convinced my mother who still fears that spiderwebs convict her of being a poor housekeeper. So she eliminates the spiderwebs and hopes she can shut the door fast enough to keep out the hundreds of flies.

[BattleNymph]

It's so cute when you try and swim in the deep end... :D

*pinches camr's cheeks and deflates his water-wings*

Well, this is a little entertaining. I think you can do better though. *cracks whip again*

[BattleNymph]

If you can't play nice, daddy will just have to take away your toys.

Daddy? *raises brows and cracks whip again* Daddy better start dancing.

[Hitcher]

Mowing the lawn, putting up shelves and finding out what's making that strange noise in the attic.

[StarkDaddy]

Being in the PETA camp when it comes to animals (philosophically, not logistially, mind you), I don't kill spiders either. I take em outside.

The only thing that I kill are ants and roaches; roaches disgust me on a primal level, and its hard to transport an ant outside - plus it takes forever.

[ldygmr1]

I am confident that I would fare at least as well in this hypothetical feminocracy as I do now... my essential Chimaeraness is modally true and it's value is self-evident.

The Hotness would totally be allowed in MY feminocracy. I mean, HELLO! he's The Hotness. Just looking at him is entertainment enough. And then he starts spouting all those big words....it's enough. Truly.

Move along baby hippo...your 15 minutes were up remember? You've been replaced....


By what? Did I miss a memo?

[Zayda]

Mowing the lawn, putting up shelves and finding out what's making that strange noise in the attic.

[raises an eyebrow]

Since when are we not capable of mowing lawns ourselves?

Putting up a shelf merely takes a level, a hammer and a few nails, or a drill and screws depending on the shelf. It's a piece of cake. Ohh..would you like a caked baked to sit on that shelf?

Heh. The strange noise in the attic was a squirrel. I chased him out an hour ago.

[ldygmr1]

Zayda has the right of it. We really don't need men for anything outside of procreation.

Now WANTING them. Totally different story.

And really. Do you want to be with someone who needs you, like it or lump it; or with someone who wants you, warts and all?

[carmachu]

Want of course. But looking around we guys can tell when WE'RE not wanted....

[ldygmr1]

Want of course. But looking around we guys can tell when WE'RE not wanted....

Awwwww...feeling rejected Carm?

*pats Carms shoulder*

We love you, Carmachu
We do we do!
All the guys love you too
They do they do!
It would be easier to love you hun
If we could find a rhyme for curmudgeon.

[carmachu]

Awww. I feel so special now.....too bad I was disintergrated already....*grin*

[StarkDaddy]

Vote for Hillary, and a woman will.

:vomit:

[Zayda]

Oh yes, I'm going to vote for Hillary just because she's a woman and I'm a woman. :rolleye2:

[StarkDaddy]

I know you're being facetious, but you don't know how many times I've heard people seriously claim that... hell, I can think of 6 in the last week.

Stark

[ldygmr1]

I know you're being facetious, but you don't know how many times I've heard people seriously claim that... hell, I can think of 6 in the last week.

Stark

This makes me afraid.
Seriously.

[BattleNymph]

Vote for Hillary, and a woman will.

:vomit:

But, she's not a woman. Just ask Bill.

[BattleNymph]

*shakes head*

They never learn...

*takes away BN's whip (effortlessly)*

*puts her in the time-out corner*

*enjoys Chim putting her in the corner*


Hey, do that again!

*cracks whip again*

[Mouser]

Personally, I'm tired of running the world, and I would welcome the break.

[StarkDaddy]

This makes me afraid.

YOU?! I'm peeing down my fucking leg, here!

[silverwhisper]

stark, seriously dude, i have to wonder if all the good weather down there's just plain baked people's brains right out of their gorrammed heads!

[Haze]

And really. Do you want to be with someone who needs you, like it or lump it; or with someone who wants you, warts and all?Quoting for truth...

[StarkDaddy]

stark, seriously dude, i have to wonder if all the good weather down there's just plain baked people's brains right out of their gorrammed heads!

Shit, at least you don't have to LIVE here! Ugh.

[silverwhisper]

dude, you lowercased! that's awesome!

[gives stark rep]

on the plus side, tomorrow, in the city w/ windchill, it will be 0 when i get on the train.

zero degrees fahrenheit.

tomorrow is most assuredly boxer-brief weather!

[Wook]

Being in the PETA camp when it comes to animals (philosophically, not logistially, mind you), I don't kill spiders either. I take em outside.

The only thing that I kill are ants and roaches; roaches disgust me on a primal level, and its hard to transport an ant outside - plus it takes forever.

Spiders are venomous and i regard it as me helping evolution along. Any predator dumb enough to come within range to predate upon me deserves what it gets. Spiders of sufficient size to get a violent reaction from me are venous unto the point of being genuinely dangerous to have around. Any other vermin infestation represents a potential health hazard that should be address post hase.

[Zayda]

dude, you lowercased! that's awesome!

[gives stark rep]

on the plus side, tomorrow, in the city w/ windchill, it will be 0 when i get on the train.

zero degrees fahrenheit.

tomorrow is most assuredly boxer-brief weather!


Oh quit your whining. It's going to be -10 here in the morning with the windchill.

Tomorrow is most assuredly calf-high boots and tights weather.

[silverwhisper]

pfft, don't you guys get cold like that all the time?

[Zayda]

Actually, no we don't. The temperature today and tomorrow will be what the meterologists are calling unseasonably cold. It's a good 15 degrees colder here now than it typically is this time of year.

[silverwhisper]

my bad, then.

[trout-smacks self]

[SD Anderson]

Look, you just catch a pregnant rat, and train the litter to eat spiders. No problem.

[Zayda]

Those types of temperatures are normal this time of year for the UP of Michigan, though. But I am much further south.

But I'm used to this kind of cold from living elsewhere.

My students probably won't come to class because it's too cold to do so. :rolleye2: (And yes, I've actually had a student tell me that before: "Z, I didn't come to class last time because it was too cold out.")

[silverwhisper]

super z, the word is "n00b". :D

[Zayda]

super z, the word is "n00b". :D

It's somethine alright.

[IFMU]

And really. Do you want to be with someone who needs you, like it or lump it; or with someone who wants you, warts and all?
Ill take what I can get at this point. lol j/j

[Joe Kickass]

Now THAT is a true thing. I find you all VASTLY entertaining.

*calls the air strike off*

It is a proven scientific fact that women aren't as funny as men. No explanation has so far been accepted, but the conclusion is undeniable.

[Paulypalooza]

you do realize that all those product so prominently displayed in the first post of this thread were all invented, designed, and built by, yup you guessed it MEN!