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TinSoldier
12-06-2006, 01:29 AM
Redwald is a human ranger in a PBP Eberron campaign. I didn't know very much about Eberron when I wrote the story although it seems to mesh pretty good with that campaign. I took a lot of inspiration from George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series for this one. Maybe a little Cinderella and Robin Hood thrown in for good measure. The character looks just like Robbie Coltrane in the Harry Potter movies.

I am Redwald the hunter.

I was born the bastard son of a landed lord. My mother was his healer; his Lady Wife had disappeared several years before on some crusade. It is too bad that she didn't stay disappeared...

Although I knew that I would never inherit lands or titles, My Lord Father raised me and loved me no less than my half-brother and half-sister. He was very much in love with my mother as well.

I loved my half-brother and sister very much. My Lord Father tried to make me squire to my older brother but it never worked out very well. My sister and I would always skip our duties and go off to play in the woods. I think my sister had some sorceror's blood in her from her mother; she was always showing off magics to me. She swore me to secrecy about her abilities, though, and I never did tell anyone.

When I was about eight summers or so, my half-brother left with many of My Lord Father's men to fight for the King. I haven't seen him since.

The year after that, My Lord Father's Lady Wife returned. Everything in our lives changed so fast! My mother and I were relegated to being servants. My Lord Father turned cold to us and the light had gone out of his eyes. The Lady was cruel to me and my mother. Fortunately my sister would help us out from time to time, but she never talked bad about her mother. She would just get a sad look in her eyes and turn away.

My mother and I left the keep not long after that.

We found refuge in the hills and forests taking up with a band of men who used to be my Lord Father's men. They still swore undying loyalty to him but believed him to be under some sort of curse or charm by his accursed Lady Wife. We waylaid the Lady's men any chance we could, robbing them or killing them outright if they wouldn't renounce her rule. It was really a terrible thing because while some of these men were wholly owned by the accursed Lady, others were the brothers and cousins of men in our band.

In my fourteenth summer the pox hit our band. The people started getting sick and dying, including my mother. Four of us were sent to look for a healer because even my mother's healing magic couldn't break this disease.

After several days journey, I stumbled across the cabin of an old hermit man. By this time I was suffering from the pox as well and nearly dead. The old man healed me and nursed me back to health. When I was well enough to travel, I led him back to our camp. When I got there, horror greated our eyes. The camp had been burned and I could still see charred bodies with spears and arrows sticking out of them. There was nothing left to save, not even my mother.

I stayed with the hermit for several summers, learning the ways of the land, and how to hunt and fish. We would trade with the local villages; even bandits, elves, goblins, or anyone else was welcome to trade with us as long as they came in peace.

The old man eventually died, of course, as we all do. The hermit told me that I had to find my brother if he was still alive. He would know what to do about his accursed Lady mother. I'm not so sure, but I promised the old hermit that I would.

For the past several months, I've been hunting and fishing as I was trained. I sell my goods to nearby villages and passing travelers. I sometimes enter archery contests to try my mettle against others. I never fail to do well. I know I need to seek out my brother and find a way to see my sister again. I thought that I had left that life behind me, but our past always follows us wherever we go in life.

I am a large man with a thick black beard. I use it to cover the pox scars on my face. I wear travelling clothes and a great bearskin cloak. I carry a large pack with me where ever I go because I carry everthing I need to live. I carry a staff in one hand and have a bow and a spear across my back.

JasonStarfire
12-06-2006, 01:46 AM
The description at the end seems a little tacked on. That works for a character description (I know that's what it is), but it would be cool to see it integrated into the story format somehow. Like mention hunting with bow and spear, or something of that nature.

Or whatever. I suck at writing, and I'm even worse at providing constructive feedback... but I try! :th_salute:

Detritus
12-06-2006, 04:50 AM
Yeah, in a stream-of-consciousness sort of narrative, the character isn't just going to think a description of himself to himself. He already knows all that stuff. But if his spear catches on something when he walks, or he has to shift his backpack a little, or his scar itches and triggers a brief reminiscence as to how he got it, those are ways to illustrate these things as the narrative unfolds. These details should not dominate the story, but if you work in a bit of this sort of background info in from time to time, you won't have to resort to listing your character description in the story.

TinSoldier
12-06-2006, 10:52 AM
Yeah, I could have worked that in better. By the time I got to the end I realized I hadn't made a physical description of him.

Thanks for the tips.